Buy American!
You've heard that term right??
"Let's support our local economy!"
"Why purchase from overseas when you can purchase from the "mom and pop" down the street?"
These are valid statements and questions....when you're talking about purchases.
These, however are NOT valid when talking about a child. A person. A human. A soul.
When our story was aired last Thursday on Fox40 (you can see it here), we saw some feedback that was mostly negative, and mostly ignorant.
The story was also posted on Aol, Yahoo, One News Page, and a few others, as well as Fox 40's Facebook page. (Read about the rest of our crazy week of outreach to our elected officials here)
On some of these sites, we read some very disheartening comments regarding our adoption.
Here are some that we saw:
- "Sad they had to go so far to find a child to adopt"
- "Umm ok? what about the millions of kids here that need homes??"
- "So sad. What about American babies right in your backyard without food,homes, and families?"
- "The reason adoptions have stopped in the Congo is because of the increase in baby trafficking. Babies are being stolen from mothers, and mothers are being coerced into relinquishing these "valuable" babies. These adoptions need to stop-there should not be a financial profit in adoption. No one is entitled to a baby."
- "yes it does matter where the child is from we need to take care of our own FIRST before trying to rescue the whole world"
- "Awwwww get over it adopt american children... amercia has thousands of children looking for forever homes. I wish the american govt. Would halt all all forigen adoptions until all american children have forever homes first."
- "Isn't there enough American babies who need adoption? God Bless all the children but, give me a bleeding heart break."
- "Buy American"
Now, we definitely saw more compassionate remarks as well, but not nearly as many.
I was not prepared for comments like this.
I wasn't prepared for the ignorance that people have when commenting on something so sensitive and so personal to us.
However, we understand that we allowed our story to be told on a public level and that it is open for anyone to have an opinion about it.
After reading their comments, I immediately felt so defensive!!!
I wanted to fully EDUCATE them as to why they are dead wrong!
But my husband reminded me that I can't respond to that stuff.
We are to be the example here. We aren't here to argue.
What it comes down to with these people is this:
- They do not view these children as people.
- They do not see an adopted child as having the same rights a biological child has.
- They do not see Congolese children as having the same human rights as American children.
- They obviously view American children as being far superior to the Congolese.
- They clearly have NO IDEA what the conditions are like for orphans in Congo.
However, I'd like to take a moment to give some information in case there are any of you that still don't understand why we aren't adopting domestically.
I honestly understand inquiring minds.
I understand if you have questions.
I'll do my best to answer them!
Just don't attack my family!
K?
:)
#1: We did not set out to adopt from Congo
We see NOTHING wrong with that, however.
When we started our adoption journey (wrote a post about it here), we were overwhelmed with the options.
We knew that adoption was GOOD regardless of where the child was from. This left us with a hard decision...if we felt every single child needed parents, then how to we choose where to adopt from?
Well, thankfully God made that decision for us. We realized that a friend of ours co-founded Compassion for Congo and we already knew someone else who adopted from their orphanage in Congo!
It was an open door, and we walked through, never looking back.
#2: Children are desperate in Congo.
In Congo, only about half of ALL children live until the age of 5. Those are not good odds.
It is the poorest country in the world.
Parents cannot afford to feed themselves, much less their children.
Sometimes family members will take turns skipping meals, even for days, so that others can eat.
There is literally an endless supply of abandoned children and parents that are willing to abandon their children.
You can see them on the streets every day all over the country.
And parents who love their children will many times offer them up to be adopted, knowing they will die if they stay.
#3: Witchcraft is rampant
In Congo, many children are injured (burned, cut, whipped) because their parents believe they are evil. Many children are believed to be, even at very young ages, to be sorcerers, witches, or demon possessed.
You can read an example here. Please be advised, it is graphic, and disturbing...but this little girl's reality.
They use different deplorable actions to get rid of the "evil" that lives inside these poor kids. This results in children being abandoned, left for dead, or killed.
This is fairly common.
Satan is able to live in the country without disguise.
#4: There is no "system" to help them.
Didier himself (pastor who runs the orphanage) told us when he visited last year that adoption is not common among the Congolese people.
If a child is adopted, they most likely become more of a servant than a member of the family.
When there are children walking the streets, starving and ill-stricken, they aren't generally looked upon with compassion like they would be here in the U.S.
Their general view of children and orphans is just different.
Although the government does extend a love for their people and a desire to see them thrive, it seems the resources are not present.
#5: An orphan needs parents.
An orphan=ANY child without a guardian...regardless of where they are born.
How on EARTH can we value one person's life over another based on their birthplace????
So, my sister in law was born in Mexico. That means she is not as entitled to having loving parents like we Americans are???
How can we be so bold and arrogant as to say that?
It literally DUMBFOUNDS me.
A child is a child, is a child, is a child.
Period.
We are NOT talking politics! This is not about getting a valid driver's license, or health insurance, or state funding.
I would NEVER tell someone that adopting from Congo is "better" or "more important" than adopting from ANYWHERE else!
Every single child needs saving.
Some countries definitely have more deplorable conditions for their orphans, but we can't put more value on any one person's life than another's.
Am I making sense?
And Lastly,
#6: An orphan became our son in a split second.
The moment we saw Tobi's picture for the first time, he was our son.
There was no paperwork completed yet, nothing was official, but he was ours.
As adoptive parents, we don't view our adopted children any differently than our biological children.
So when someone says, "adopt another one", that is not even an option.
We can't replace a child, and any parent who has lost a child of their own can attest to that.
Can we have more? Perhaps. But there is no replacement.
Can I go out and buy another car when ours is totaled? Yes.
It's a purchase.
We don't purchase our children.
We labor for them, work for them, and they come at a cost just like our biological children.
They are not returnable, exchangeable, or replaceable.
Because they are people.
Not items, not statistics, not facts, not stories.
They are our children.
Please do not view them as anything else.
******Any comments that are not genuine or seem to be from "trolls" will be immediately deleted. I am choosing not to harbor debate and arguments here. This is a family blog and is not intended to be controversial
