Heading to DC!!!

In my last post, I shared some personal thoughts I was having concerning our adoption (you can read it here).

It's getting harder and harder to wait for Tobias to be able to come home.

Our faith hasn't been shaken - we know and trust that our Lord is in control as always...the waiting time is just hard because he's not home.

Something else that makes our situation hard is that we are DONE with our adoption process.  Tobi has a visa and can travel...but Congo is not issuing exit letters at this time.

Well, we are going to DO something next week!

A group of adoptive parents, accompanied by reps from Both Ends Burning will be in Washington DC next week meeting with the House and Senate regarding the exit letter situation in Congo.

I originally thought this trip was completely out of reach...most of all because we can't afford any of it!  But The Lord has provided the funds for my plane ticket and there will be no cost for lodging (explained below).

So we are praising Him for the provision and moving forward with the other parents.

• So next Tuesday, June 23rd we will be meeting with Senators and presenting them with our stories.

• On Wednesday, we will be meeting with Congressmen and Congresswomen for the same purpose.

Our prayer is that this will light a fire of ACTION in our government and things will start moving.  We have found the Dept of State and the Embassy (the ones that have most communication with DGM in Congo) to be lacking in the motivation that we believe is necessary to get our kids home.

We are really hoping this will do the trick.

There has also been an application for a permit to hold a candlelight vigil on the lawn of the Capitol to honor our children waiting for us.

I know...makes me tear up just thinking about it.   We'll have to wait and see if that pans out.

As of right now, there are about 55 parents traveling to DC and we are hoping to add more by the time Tuesday gets here.

We also have meetings with over 65 Senators/Congressmen(women)!!  That's really exciting.

We will soon have an itinerary of what our days will look like.  I will be in a group with other California moms (3 of which are adopting through Compassion For Congo!!) and will likely have more in our group as well. 

We will be assigned several meetings in addition to our meetings with our California senators (or their staffers) and congressmen/women.

We have been told to dress comfortably and be ready for long days.

I will be staying with my friend Emily (she's updating her adoption blog here).  Her sister-in-law's sister is opening up her home to us at no cost!!!  That cuts out HUGE travel expenses for us and we are so grateful.

Emily and I are also hoping to see some DC sights while we're there....if we have time :)

I'm really trying to focus on the logistics of this trip and praying that it is effective....while NOT thinking about the fact that I will be missing my family terribly. 

I have NEVER left them.  The kids will sometimes spend the night with my parents..and we went away for a couple nights before Jackson was born, but nothing like this.  

4 days may not seem like much to some people, but I'm dreading it!  The kiddos are in good hands though, Chris is a 100% hands on daddy and is involved in all aspects of our children's everyday lives.

So I know they'll be fine...they'll have WAY more fun with dad then with me.  I'll just miss them :(

So pray for me and the other parents as we leave our families for a few days while we represent and advocate for our children that are a world away.

Praying for Congo

So, a lot has happened in the last month regarding us adoptive parents reaching out to our local officials concerning adoptions in DRC.

In this post, I detailed what we had done in just over a week's time.

• We have gotten a lot of attention all the way up to the Department of State.

• A congressional letter was sent out directly to the president and prime minister of DRC that had 171 signatures on it from senators and congressmen.

• The Department of State responded to our plea for an action plan while the DRC delegation was to be in the country, and they set up meetings for the Congolese officials to meet adopted children that were already home with their families.

That delegation trip was canceled last minute, and the Congolese never came.

• Now, our Secretary of State, John Kerry is making a trip to Congo!

The Congolese respect John Kerry and we are praying that the trip will be beneficial for all involved.

But we are receiving blow after blow.

One second we are encouraged, the next we're scared.

One minute we're excited, and the next we are discouraged yet again.

Well, there is a new update on the Dept. of State adoption site and you can read it here.

People are fleeing with their children.
Illegaly.

We all might have opinions as to why DRC hasn't lifted this ban on exit letters, but we have to understand that their claims are real.

People are breaking the law, smuggling children out of the country, and not respecting the laws of their children's home land.

Do I want our son home?  YES!

But we have to do this the right way in order to pave the way for the children behind us to come home swiftly and safely as well.

But here is another concern:

DRC is now concerned with the size of our families before adoption.

Their law DOES state that children shouldn't be adopted to families with more than 2 children already at home. 

HOWEVER, their court system is given discretion in this regard.  Judges have the authority to decide whether families can provide for their adopted children with more at home.

This WAS the case anyway, and we are now concerned that it will change.

No family can "hide" the fact that they have more than 2 children at home.  You have to have a current home study in order to get your judgement, and the home study lists the members of the family in detail.

The fact is, this issue has not been a problem before, we were assured that it shouldn't be a problem by more than one adoption facilitator...and now DRC is implying that it might be a problem now.

Please pray for this situation.

Reading things like this makes my mind drift to possibilities that are too difficult to imagine...it makes me think that we just might not ever bring Tobias home.

However, my husband responds to me with this text message:

"We will wait and see.  We have done our best.  He knows and will rescue as He sees fit.  And we will not quit.  I love you, you are a mommy who loves her children from afar."

I'm so thankful for such words of wisdom.

So it's true....we don't know if or when we WILL ever bring Tobi home.

But we won't quit trying to!

So continue to pray for us, for Tobias, for the other hundreds of children that are stuck and waiting for their parents to bring them home...not to mention the MILLIONS that don't even have parents yet.

And something to think about is the longer children wait in orphanages, the longer other children wait on the streets.  If our kids aren't leaving those orphanages to come home to us, then there is no room for the others that have no place to lay their head at night.

Also pray for John Kerry's trip to DRC.  We're praying that there will be mutual respect between their President and our Secretary of State and that a beneficial outcome with soon be communicated to us!

We in no way want to shed a negative light on Congo.  It is where our son was given life.  They clearly can back up their claims of wrongdoing on adoptive parents' part.  

However, I am praying that they will see the dire state the children are in because of the exit letter suspension.

With so much uncertainty, I will rest in this:

"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

John 16:33

Why not Buy American?

Buy American!

You've heard that term right??

"Let's support our local economy!"

"Why purchase from overseas when you can purchase from the "mom and pop" down the street?"

These are valid statements and questions....when you're talking about purchases.

These, however are NOT valid when talking about a child.  A person.  A human.  A soul.

When our story was aired last Thursday on Fox40 (you can see it here), we saw some feedback that was mostly negative, and mostly ignorant.

The story was also posted on Aol, Yahoo, One News Page, and a few others, as well as Fox 40's Facebook page.  (Read about the rest of our crazy week of outreach to our elected officials here)

On some of these sites, we read some very disheartening comments regarding our adoption.

Here are some that we saw:

• "Sad they had to go so far to find a child to adopt"

• "Umm ok? what about the millions of kids here that need homes??"

• "So sad. What about American babies right in your backyard without food,homes, and families?"

• "The reason adoptions have stopped in the Congo is because of the increase in baby trafficking. Babies are being stolen from mothers, and mothers are being coerced into relinquishing these "valuable" babies. These adoptions need to stop-there should not be a financial profit in adoption. No one is entitled to a baby."

• "yes it does matter where the child is from we need to take care of our own FIRST before trying to rescue the whole world"

• "Awwwww get over it adopt american children... amercia has thousands of children looking for forever homes. I wish the american govt. Would halt all all forigen adoptions until all american children have forever homes first."

• "Isn't there enough American babies who need adoption? God Bless all the children but, give me a bleeding heart break."

But my all time favorite is:

• "Buy American"

Now, we definitely saw more compassionate remarks as well, but not nearly as many.

I was not prepared for comments like this.
I wasn't prepared for the ignorance that people have when commenting on something so sensitive and so personal to us.

However, we understand that we allowed our story to be told on a public level and that it is open for anyone to have an opinion about it.


After reading their comments, I immediately felt so defensive!!!
I wanted to fully EDUCATE them as to why they are dead wrong!

But my husband reminded me that I can't respond to that stuff.

We are to be the example here.  We aren't here to argue.
What it comes down to with these people is this:

• They do not view these children as people.

• They do not see an adopted child as having the same rights a biological child has.

• They do not see Congolese children as having the same human rights as American children.

• They obviously view American children as being far superior to the Congolese.

• They clearly have NO IDEA what the conditions are like for orphans in Congo.

However, I'd like to take a moment to give some information in case there are any of you that still don't understand why we aren't adopting domestically.

I honestly understand inquiring minds.
I understand if you have questions.
I'll do my best to answer them!

Just don't attack my family!

K?  

:)

#1:  We did not set out to adopt from Congo
We see NOTHING wrong with that, however.

When we started our adoption journey (wrote a post about it here), we were overwhelmed with the options.

We knew that adoption was GOOD regardless of where the child was from.  This left us with a hard decision...if we felt every single child needed parents, then how to we choose where to adopt from?

Well, thankfully God made that decision for us.  We realized that a friend of ours co-founded Compassion for Congo and we already knew someone else who adopted from their orphanage in Congo!

It was an open door, and we walked through, never looking back.

#2: Children are desperate in Congo.
In Congo, only about half of ALL children live until the age of 5.  Those are not good odds.

It is the poorest country in the world.

Parents cannot afford to feed themselves, much less their children.

Sometimes family members will take turns skipping meals, even for days, so that others can eat.

There is literally an endless supply of abandoned children and parents that are willing to abandon their children.

You can see them on the streets every day all over the country.

And parents who love their children will many times offer them up to be adopted, knowing they will die if they stay.

#3: Witchcraft is rampant
In Congo, many children are injured (burned, cut, whipped) because their parents believe they are evil.  Many children are believed to be, even at very young ages, to be sorcerers, witches, or demon possessed. 

You can read an example here.  Please be advised, it is graphic, and disturbing...but this little girl's reality.

They use different deplorable actions to get rid of the "evil" that lives inside these poor kids. This results in children being abandoned, left for dead, or killed.

This is fairly common.  

Satan is able to live in the country without disguise.

#4: There is no "system" to help them.
Didier himself (pastor who runs the orphanage) told us when he visited last year that adoption is not common among the Congolese people.

If a child is adopted, they most likely become more of a servant than a member of the family.

When there are children walking the streets, starving and ill-stricken, they aren't generally looked upon with compassion like they would be here in the U.S.

Their general view of children and orphans is just different.

Although the government does extend a love for their people and a desire to see them thrive, it seems the resources are not present.

#5: An orphan needs parents.
An orphan=ANY child without a guardian...regardless of where they are born.

How on EARTH can we value one person's life over another based on their birthplace????

So, my sister in law was born in Mexico.  That means she is not as entitled to having loving parents like we Americans are???

How can we be so bold and arrogant as to say that?

It literally DUMBFOUNDS me.  

A child is a child, is a child, is a child.  
Period.

We are NOT talking politics!  This is not about getting a valid driver's license, or health insurance, or state funding.

I would NEVER tell someone that adopting from Congo is "better" or "more important" than adopting from ANYWHERE else!

Every single child needs saving.  

Some countries definitely have more deplorable conditions for their orphans, but we can't put more value on any one person's life than another's.

Am I making sense?

And Lastly,

#6: An orphan became our son in a split second.
The moment we saw Tobi's picture for the first time, he was our son.

There was no paperwork completed yet, nothing was official, but he was ours.

As adoptive parents, we don't view our adopted children any differently than our biological children.

So when someone says, "adopt another one", that is not even an option.

We can't replace a child, and any parent who has lost a child of their own can attest to that.

Can we have more?  Perhaps.  But there is no replacement.

Can I go out and buy another car when ours is totaled?  Yes.  

It's a purchase.

We don't purchase our children.

We labor for them, work for them, and they come at a cost just like our biological children.

They are not returnable, exchangeable, or replaceable.

Because they are people.

Not items, not statistics, not facts, not stories. 

They are our children.

Please do not view them as anything else.

******Any comments that are not genuine or seem to be from "trolls" will be immediately deleted.  I am choosing not to harbor debate and arguments here.  This is a family blog and is not intended to be controversial

 

Fully Funded but Still Waiting!

I figure it's about time to update everyone on the status of Tobi and our adoption!

We have had more ups and downs the last couple months.

At the end of January, we had signs of hope that DGM would issue Tobias and the other waiting children their exit letters starting in February!!! We were cautiously hopeful and praying along with our family and church.

That proved to only be a rumor and DGM consistently has denied any time frame of reopening.

So as far as Tobias having permission to LEAVE his country, we sadly have no estimate of when that will happen.  So we ask that you continue to pray with us in that regard.

Pray that God would move in that country in a way that ONLY He can!!

However, we are praising The Lord that Tobi was able to get his visa!

It will be picked up this week (it may have already been picked up, we haven't heard from them for a few days).

That is the last step for us. There is nothing more we can do in our adoption process....just wait for DGM!  Very thankful that we got it with very little hiccups.

Because there is no sign of an exit letter at this time, Tobi is going back to the orphanage in Lubumbashi.  He'll be there very soon. I'm praying this will be a haven for him because it's what he knows as "home". But it is so much for a little guy to process. 

Pray for him.

Now here is another huge praise.

The cost difference is insane between the trip to Kinshasa vs. the trip to Lubumbashi. Its just so much more expensive to travel to Kinshasa.

So after re-evaluating our financial status with our adoption funds and the new expenses we will incur.....we've discovered that we are now FULLY FUNDED!!!!!

FULLY. FUNDED.

In fact, we have a little more than we need (that can always change). 

So not only are we super excited about seeing Tobi's homeland and those that have cared for him when we travel to get him, we are just beyond grateful that we require no more fundraising!!

Wow.

In the beginning of this process....when we had like $300 saved, pastor Paul told us,

"God has a lot of money. And if He Wants you to have it, you'll have it."

He made it sound so simple!
 
And it was!

We've worked to raise money,  but it is clear that God alone has provided it all....mostly through the giving hearts of His people :)

So praise God for His faithfulness and grace in granting what we need.

And thank you to any and all of you who have contributed in any way!

We graciously ask that you do not give us any more money! If you feel led to give to us, please give it straight to Compassion for Congo.

They have great needs, and charge us adoptive parents NOTHING but the actual cost of what must be done.

They make no money off of us!


You can give straight to their ministry here by clicking "donate".

We are still in awe of what God has done in the last two years (yea, its just about 2 years since we started!!).

He never ceases to amaze us.  He has made sure to provide for us in ways that we could never take credit for.

There is only room to give HIM the glory for it all.

So join us in praising The Lord for His provision over our finances and Tobi's adoption.

And pray that He will allow us to bring our boy HOME soon!!!!

A Little Closer to Congo

So right now we have a lot going on.

We returned last week from

a week away with Chris

while he had an intensive Seminary class.

We are getting ready for VBS.

Oh, we're adopting.

We're potty training Noelle.

And I got a cold on Friday!

But all these things (except the cold)

are so rewarding!

We had a great time staying in a hotel while

Chris was in class.

I was actually surprised at how much the girls

behaved and liked it!

There was even a class on his last day

that was for the seminary wives!

It was SO refreshing to be with like-minded

ladies whose husbands are, or will be in ministry.

AND there was child care!

:)

I had angel Jackson with me, 

but the girls

got to go play.

The last few weeks we've really just been

looking forward to Didier coming though!

I hope no one thinks we put him on a high pedestal.

I don't think we do.

He's a man of God that preaches the Word,

disciples men,

takes in and cares for orphans

and does A LOT of work to get them home.

It was wonderful to allow our church family to get

a glimpse of Congo through him.

He speaks of Tobias and it makes me tear up!

It makes me feel so much closer to him, yet so far away

at the same time.

You can listen to it here.

He sang a song for us in Swahili that was about

always being ready for The Lord's return.

The people received it as we hoped they would.

We really felt such a unity,

not only for wanting Tobias home.

But I pray it is also for adoption in general.

And for Congo.

When we finally DO bring Tobi home,

we don't want to look back on the year and half or so

and think that we're all done now.

That we've all done our part and have risen to the

call to care for the orphan.

This isn't a one-time thing.

We ALWAYS care.

We ALWAYS do what we can to help.

I can't WAIT for the next person we know to adopt!

I may not be able to write a big check,

but we'll do all that we can to assist!

And I really think that this process has

instilled that in most of our church body.

It is precious to see!

SPEAKING of helping!

haha

I'll give you a little update on our financial status.

We have about $3,300 left to raise.

Give or take.

The shirts have done really well!

We only have 6 Lrg shirts left and that's IT!

If you want one let me know soon!

We're looking forward to seeing how the rest

is provided by Him.
We received a check for $500 from a very special
friend recently.
What a generous surprise that was!
We are SO undeserving!

It looks like more changes in the process are ahead for us

as well!

We'll tell you more about it when it's set in stone :)

So that's all for now,
hope to have another update very soon!

He's NOT an Orphan!!

Tobias has parents!

Tobi has been our son since

October of 2012.

But we are now his

legal parents in CONGO!

Didier has obviously been working

pretty hard.

We were told he would try and get this

accomplished by May 19th.

But we received an email last night that on

May 6th the DRC court granted our adoption judgement!

This is super exciting news for us.

The more complicated work still needs to be done

in order to complete the adoption in the U.S.

and get permission to bring him home.

But we are so grateful for this big step in the

RIGHT direction!

So to recap, here's what is left to be done:

-Didier will come to the U.S. for a trip in June and he will bring our adoption judgement with him

-It will be translated to English

-We will send that and apply for our I600 (U.S. approval to bring Tobi into the States)

-Once we get the I600 approval, we will make an appointment at the U.S. Embassy.

-Didier will take Tobias to Kinshasa to get his passport and to the U.S. Embassy there to get his Visa.

-We will then travel to GET TOBIAS!

Simple, right??

Prooooobably not :)

I've been able to follow the last three adoptions

that have been completed with C4C

and each one of them had something unexpected come up!

We've already had that happen and we haven't even

gotten to the Embassy yet!

So, we are definitely praying for 

the least amount of hiccups as possible.

ANYWAY,

that's our newest update

and we are thanking the Lord for His provisions.

Please continue to pray as we try to raise the rest of the funds needed.

We need between $5,000 and $6,000 now that

I will be traveling with Chris

to Congo.

 (If you didn't read about that slight change,

 you can read it here.)

We need to have one more fundraiser to help us

and we aren't really sure what that will be.

We want to be careful about asking for funding as we

have already received SO MUCH from so many,

especially our church family!

So we're praying about what to do next

in regards to the funding.

One thing we DO know,

is He will provide!!!!!!