He's Still Not Home

Posts like these are hard for me to write.
I so badly want to share with you all that Tobias is on his way home...but that's just not the case.

That has made it really difficult for me to update on our adoption at all.

But here's where we stand.

You'll remember that I took a trip to Washington D.C. several months back to meet with our lawmakers and urge them to become involved in the efforts of bringing our children home from Congo. 

The trip was great, and we were successful - it didn't get our kids out right away, but we got MANY members of the Senate and House on our side..some of them passionately advocating for us after meeting families face to face and hearing of our situations.  My favorite video Both Ends Burning has made of the trip and some of the outcome can be viewed here. 

Well much has happened behind the scenes since our trip and more lines of communication have been opened between the Congolese government and ours.  However, the children are still not being issued exit letters.  

A delegation comprised of different members of the Department of State just came back from a trip to the DRC.  They met with different officials and offices and we are waiting to hear the outcome.  Their goal was to advocate for the exit letters for our waiting children so we are praying that it was effective.

We will hear more about their trip next week in a conference call.

As you may remember, Tobias got his U.S. Visa in March, but they are only good for 6 months so it expired this summer.  When exit letters start being issued, he'll need a valid Visa in order to enter the United States.  

So right now they are preparing Tobias and a few other little guys to take another trip to Kinshasa in order to get this accomplished.  

Here is where we have some very specific prayer requests.

They will be leaving the end of December. 

This is Tobi's second big trip, and I really hate the idea of him going through this and not knowing how much of it he understands. So we're praying that The Lord would grant peace to his little heart.

We are praying that the exit letters will be issued VERY soon for a few reasons.

1. We would like Tobias to NOT have to return to the orphanage again.  If the suspension lifts relatively soon after his Visa is renewed, he can just wait for us there in Kinshasa.
2. This new Visa is also only valid for 6 months.  If the suspension lasts longer than that, it will require him to return to the orphanage, then come BACK to Kinshasa yet again to renew a 3rd time.
3. Our next baby is due the beginning of June.  We are pretty sure that I won't be traveling while pregnant, but Chris's trip will be very hard on the family if it happens close to the time that the baby is born...we're praying we have a few months with Tobi before the baby comes!
4. We have all waited a LONG time.  Tobias has been our son for over 2 years now - we saw his precious face in October of 2012.  Never in a million years did we think he wouldn't be home by now, but The Lord knew and He has provided what's necessary to get through this!  I just don't want Tobi to have to wait any longer...it's getting harder and harder to hear the girls ask why he can't come home and have them tell me how sad they are that he's still not here.  We're all sad, and just want to hold him!

So we ask that you keep these things in prayer as you remember our little guy.  He's growing before our eyes in pictures and it's so bittersweet.  It's painful to see him change from afar, yet we're so thankful that he's a strong healthy young boy.  

I will be sure to update as SOON as we have anything else to share.  The support we've received from family and friends has been overwhelming the last couple years.  It will be such a joy to share welcome home pictures with y'all someday :)

Some Very Important People CARE About our Kids!!

Last month, I took a trip to Washington D.C. so that I, along with around 59 other parents could meet with Congress to request that they ACTIVELY get involved with getting our children home.  If you haven't read the recap of my trip, it's in this post, please read it here.

Since then, we have seen much progress as far as Congressional involvement. 
As I stated in my D.C. post, Senator Feinstein showed tremendous support and her office continues to follow up with us.  

Soon after we came home, the House voted on House Resolution 588 concerning DRC adoptions and it passed unanimously!

Shortly after that, a Senate resolution was introduced and we were able to get more than half of all the Senate to sign on as co-sponsors!  That hasn't even gone to a vote yet, but has a huge head start with the Senators on board already.  We do have Senator Feinstein as well as Senator Boxer down as co-sponsors, so California has our back! ;)

In addition to the House and Senate Resolutions, there was also a Congressional Letter addressed to President Obama that was sent to the White House yesterday.  You can read the letter here.  We were able to get the support of over 160 members of Congress by having them sign the letter requesting Obama to personally reach out to DRC President Kabila and press for this exit letter suspension to be resolved.  We now await his response.

If THAT isn't enough, the Congressional Coalition on Adoptions Institute invited adoptive parents to participate in a conference call that was held this morning.  We were greatly encouraged by the support received from the Senators on the call and their staff.  Like another adoptive parent mentioned, it is REALLY nice to end a conference call more hopeful than when it started (this is NOT the case with the usual DOS conference calls!). 

And I almost forgot that today, we had a national "Call the White House Day"!  We shared with 25,000 people - our family and friends, instructions for calling the White House and leaving a message for President Obama to directly engage President Kabila.  We are told by those answering the phones that our message was HEARD!

 

On top of that, last week we got the privilege of watching (online) our own Kelly Dempsey from Both Ends Burning testify in the House Committee on Foreign Affairs hearing on African Adoptions.  You can view part of the hearing here (there are a couple different clips of the hearing that can be seen on the right hand side of the video player)


We as adoptive parents were so encouraged to see that the Committee cares enough about orphans in Africa to hold a hearing dedicated to it and then to invite Kelly to testify.  She is a wealth of knowledge and has a deep understanding of adoption as an adoptive mom.  You can read her written testimony in this document. (We love her :)

One thing has rang true through this entire process unfortunately...and that is that the Department of State has not been the advocate that we thought they would be for adoptive parents.

You'll notice that they were invited to the African adoption hearing above, but they did not attend.  There are numerous questions we have for them and we have yet to receive answers.  

Thankfully, Kelly led us in our trip to D.C. and as a result, we have HUGE support from our Congressmen and our Senators.  So now, we have very important people heavily involved with this issue.  And many members of Congress are now pressing the Dept of State for the answers that we believe should have been given long ago.

We know that it is Congo that has issued this suspension and is preventing our precious Tobias from coming home.  However, it has taken WAY too long for the appropriate governmental office to get involved.  We have been told multiple times that we are to go to the Dept of State and/or the U.S. Embassy in Kinshasa with the questions regarding the issue.

Well, I think that I can speak for MANY adoptive parents in saying that we have gone to them over and over and for whatever reason, we are getting robotic, un-empathetic responses.  We are not seeing passionate intervention for the lives of these children and are not seeing the sense of urgency that they deserve.

I was personally looking forward to seeing what they had to say at the hearing last week, but they did not attend!  If you listen to the hearing, you'll see that Mr. Smith mentioned they'd like to have a "Part 2" of the hearing so that they can have the Ambassador present and give us some information as well as hear more testimony regarding this situation.

I hope that they convene again soon while this matter is very visible and on the forefront of many offices of Congress.

This is an exciting time in that I am able to witness our lawmakers at work.  It is very easy nowadays to become discouraged when we sit back and look at how our country has changed.  However, it has been refreshing to see our country actively intervening for the human rights of people all over the world.  It sure isn't perfect, but I am definitely thankful to live in a nation where I am free to reach out to my elected officials and make matters that are important to ME become important to THEM.

I just pray this is important enough to President Obama as well...praying for a miracle.  Praying that Tobias will be home by my birthday in September (prayed that last year too).  Praying that he will celebrate Christmas with his family this year (prayed that last year as well).

And I'm praying that every one of these beautiful dark skinned, bright eyed children will be in the warmth of their parents embrace SOON.  

I think we will have some thank you notes to send to our members of Congress when that happens. 

***Reminder, I don't tolerate hateful comments :)  They'll be deleted.

Washington D.C. Trip

Well, I'm home.


Thank you SO much for the support that so many of you have offered by prayer and encouraging words regarding my trip to D.C. (posted about it here).

It will be hard to summarize our trip in one blog post. 

But I'm going to try!

So I arrived in Washington D.C. Monday night.  A sweet lady named Mary hosted me and Emily while we stayed there.  She lives just outside of the city so each morning and evening we'd take the metro for transportation.

Me and Emily on the Metro for the first time!

Mary made us breakfast each morning and made our stay FAR more comfortable (and cheaper) than staying in a hotel.  I will always be so grateful for her grace and hospitality!

So Tuesday morning started our advocacy with our Senators.  We were in a group with 5 California moms and a sweet couple from Nebraska.  We went with them to meet with a staffer for a NE Senator, then went to meet with Senator Feinstein from California.


We were greeted by 3 of her staff members as we started our meeting.  Then 2 more joined us...all very interested in our problem.  Senator Feinstein was on the "floor" voting and finally was able to make it to the meeting after about an hour of a very engaged conversation with her staff.

When she arrived, she made it clear that she wanted to see this situation resolved.  To be honest, it left me with tears as soon as she started talking to us.  At that point, we had not heard anyone with her authority want to see our kids come home as much as she did.  

She requested more information of us and has a plan to follow up with us later and personally meet with the Congolese Ambassador (if he'll agree to it) and present to him our cases.  

She also wants legislation in place immediately that will put a plan in place to communicate with Congo and negotiate the release of the children who are adopted.

By the end of the meeting (longest meeting of the week), we were encouraged to say the LEAST.  I don't care what party she represents, if she helps get my son home, she's getting my ultimate gratitude and respect for life! (doesn't mean I'll vote for her, but she's getting a Christmas card!)

Tuesday we also met with a staffer from Barbara Boxer's office.  While he seemed very concerned about the children and sympathetic for us as parents, we didn't feel like anything would actually be DONE by their office for us.

After that meeting, we headed to meet with 5 staff members of the Foreign Affairs Committee.  These women showed great concern for the children and genuine sadness for what we were going through.  They had some ideas for us and also some explanations for why we might be having such a hard time with the State Department.

After the meetings were done, we got ready for the candlelight vigil on the lawn of the Capitol Building.  This proved to be as emotional as I expected it to be.

Looking around at the beautiful dark faces and white eyes of those that are stuck in Congo as well as those that have been lost during this wait was beyond moving. 

There was something special about being surrounded by parents who TRULY understand what we are going through...not from hearing facts or stories, but from experiencing the same frustration and sorrow that we are.

Parents held signs of their children and told some of their stories of loss, sadness, and hope.  

CNN was there covering the story of a couple adoptive families and Christian Post covered the vigil as well.

Here is CNN's story:




And here is The Christian Post's article.

Wednesday proved to be another great day, meeting with Congressmen/women.

We met briefly with a Wyoming Congresswoman's staffer, who represents another family, CA Congressman Campbell's staffer (NOT a good meeting), and Congressman McClintock himself.

Tom McClintock proved to really care about our situation and looked into the eyes of our children in the pictures we provided.  He made it clear that he would do what he could to bring our kids home.  He said he would be co-sponsoring the House Resolution 588 that was drafted by the Foreign Affairs Committee as well.

A very productive meeting was held with Congressman Costa's (CA) staffer as well.  He showed extensive knowledge of his congressman's involvement and interest in this situation and provided future resources for us if needed.

Another huge highlight of Wednesday was the last minute meeting that was arranged with Congressman Royce (CA), Chairman of the House Foreign Affairs Committee.  He met with all the parents that weren't in other meetings and showed how much information he had regarding this situation.  He is heavily involved in Africa, has taken several trips there including multiple trips to Congo.  He has met personally with President Kabila and his father, former President Kabila.

He knows the context, the politics, and the culture of Congo well and offered tremendous support to us as parents.  He offered ideas and accepted comments and questions from us as well.

He informed us that the House Foreign Affairs Committee was going to be meeting the next day (Thursday) in a markup where they'd be discussing several House Resolutions on the block.  He invited us to attend and reserved seats for us.

We ended the day feeling extremely optimistic!

After all the Wednesday meetings, us California moms ran over to the Capitol to catch Congress in session!

There was a SUPER cool cop, Officer Steve that took our picture and gave us some preferential treatment in the Capitol...he took us to the back entrance of the House Gallery so we didn't have to wait in the long line!!

We witnessed the House of Representatives vote on an amendment....to some bill...LOL.  Can't remember what it was!

That night, we went to see the White House and saw the absolutely beautiful Eisenhower Executive Offices Building.

We then took the Metro and planned to walk several blocks to the Capitol Mall so we could see the monuments and memorials all lit up at night.  Well, our plans changed as we were waiting for a friend and were surprised by a sudden D.C. storm!!!

It went from dry ground to flooded in an instant and thunder and lightning followed quickly.  It really was beautiful and strange to me as a Californian...it was WARM!  Needless to say, our plans changed.  We decided to instead walk just a couple blocks to find a place that would allow us to dry off at 10pm at night!

It proved to be a very eventful and unforgettable WET last night in D.C!

Thursday was our final morning and we had to be at the Rayburn House Building at 9:00a.m.  So it was an early morning for us as we had to get ready and be completely packed in time to get on the Metro and ride it into the city.

We made it 5 minutes late but there were still just enough seats left for us in reserved seating.

The meeting was really interesting as we got to see members of Congress discuss several human rights issues presented in different foreign affairs House Resolutions.

When it came time for our bill to be discussed, we were surprised to hear Chairman Royce ask us to stand as he personally addressed us all.

Each time a Congressman gave his opinion on the resolution, he directly spoke to us as well.  And each time, it made me cry!  These men of Congress are ready and willing to fight for our children!  

Here are my favorite quotes from the committee that were made IN SESSION:

• "Thank you for what you're doing, this is God's work." - Rep. Poe (TX)

• "The hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world." - Rep. Salmon (AZ)

• "We owe it to these children and their parents to bring this to a resolution." - Rep. Perry (PA)

• "The prophet Isaiah said...'Take up the cause of the orphan,' that's what you parents are doing." - Rep. Meadows (NC)

• "Congress has your back!" - Rep. Smith (NJ)

Needless to say, we felt overwhelmed with Congressional support from this group.  Our experience with Congress ended on a very high note to say the least!

Us with Chairman Royce

 You can see video of the committee meeting here.  Start the first video at the 2hr mark and you'll catch all these comments listed above and more.

I'm proud to say that Chairman Royce represents California and we look forward to seeing what changes will come about as a result of our efforts this week.

We are eternally grateful to Both Ends Burning (see their Congo page here) for helping us organize this trip and advocating for us and our children.  There is no way this would be possible without you guys!!!

They helped 60 families from 43 states gather to be our childrens' voices.  They helped us meet with 99 elected officials and their staff.  Those are 99 Senators and/or Congressmen that have constituents in their district with children stuck in congo.  And those officials now KNOW about our kids.  Their voices have been heard and now those that have much larger voices than ours can speak for us.

I said it in many of our meetings this week - We are PASSIONATE about bringing our kids home.  We are their voices, but ours are small voices that not many hear and we NEED others with loud voices to be passionate with us and FOR us, speaking on our behalf.  I believe we met many who are now passionate about these children and who will make their voices heard. 

Before I had to be at the airport on Thursday, we had a little time to spare and did make it to Capitol Mall to see the Washington Monument, WWII Memorial, and the Lincoln Memorial.

Seeing the Lincoln Memorial reminded me of how thankful we should be for the courageous men that did what was radical in order to give people with a different color to their skin the same rights that we have.  My son would not have been able to join our family unless he was a slave had we lived 175 years ago.

I'm very thankful for my time in D.C. and so thankful for those that made the trip possible.  

We are forever connected to these Congo parents, and especially the California mamas that I spent 2 1/2 days with.

 We pray that this trip will change the lives of our children very quickly by allowing them to come home to their families.

Thank you for continuing to pray for Tobias and for us here waiting for him.

Perhaps the wait won't be much longer....


***Disclosure:  Any negative comments will be deleted.  Yes it is a free country with free speech, meaning I am free to delete comments that don't belong on this blog.  I will not argue or allow debate in the comment section and urge my loved ones not to engage with hateful commenters on here.  If you see a comment before I do, let me know so I can delete it!  Thank you!

 

Heading to DC!!!

In my last post, I shared some personal thoughts I was having concerning our adoption (you can read it here).

It's getting harder and harder to wait for Tobias to be able to come home.

Our faith hasn't been shaken - we know and trust that our Lord is in control as always...the waiting time is just hard because he's not home.

Something else that makes our situation hard is that we are DONE with our adoption process.  Tobi has a visa and can travel...but Congo is not issuing exit letters at this time.

Well, we are going to DO something next week!

A group of adoptive parents, accompanied by reps from Both Ends Burning will be in Washington DC next week meeting with the House and Senate regarding the exit letter situation in Congo.

I originally thought this trip was completely out of reach...most of all because we can't afford any of it!  But The Lord has provided the funds for my plane ticket and there will be no cost for lodging (explained below).

So we are praising Him for the provision and moving forward with the other parents.

• So next Tuesday, June 23rd we will be meeting with Senators and presenting them with our stories.

• On Wednesday, we will be meeting with Congressmen and Congresswomen for the same purpose.

Our prayer is that this will light a fire of ACTION in our government and things will start moving.  We have found the Dept of State and the Embassy (the ones that have most communication with DGM in Congo) to be lacking in the motivation that we believe is necessary to get our kids home.

We are really hoping this will do the trick.

There has also been an application for a permit to hold a candlelight vigil on the lawn of the Capitol to honor our children waiting for us.

I know...makes me tear up just thinking about it.   We'll have to wait and see if that pans out.

As of right now, there are about 55 parents traveling to DC and we are hoping to add more by the time Tuesday gets here.

We also have meetings with over 65 Senators/Congressmen(women)!!  That's really exciting.

We will soon have an itinerary of what our days will look like.  I will be in a group with other California moms (3 of which are adopting through Compassion For Congo!!) and will likely have more in our group as well. 

We will be assigned several meetings in addition to our meetings with our California senators (or their staffers) and congressmen/women.

We have been told to dress comfortably and be ready for long days.

I will be staying with my friend Emily (she's updating her adoption blog here).  Her sister-in-law's sister is opening up her home to us at no cost!!!  That cuts out HUGE travel expenses for us and we are so grateful.

Emily and I are also hoping to see some DC sights while we're there....if we have time :)

I'm really trying to focus on the logistics of this trip and praying that it is effective....while NOT thinking about the fact that I will be missing my family terribly. 

I have NEVER left them.  The kids will sometimes spend the night with my parents..and we went away for a couple nights before Jackson was born, but nothing like this.  

4 days may not seem like much to some people, but I'm dreading it!  The kiddos are in good hands though, Chris is a 100% hands on daddy and is involved in all aspects of our children's everyday lives.

So I know they'll be fine...they'll have WAY more fun with dad then with me.  I'll just miss them :(

So pray for me and the other parents as we leave our families for a few days while we represent and advocate for our children that are a world away.

Longing to be Whole

I've become keenly aware of the different views people have concerning families and children.

When I go shopping by myself with the three children we have home, I usually get at least one "ya got your hands full" comment.

I honestly don't mind those comments!  Some see beauty if the lives of children and admire us for taking up the calling of caring for them, but some are literally dumbfounded that we would choose to outnumber ourselves by bringing more than two little hellions into the world to look after.

Then their faces REALLY change when I tell them we have another 5 year old waiting for us in Congo.

Sometimes, I forget to stress the fact that WE are also waiting for HIM.

See, we have been waiting for so LONG that waiting is now our norm.

Tobias has been our son since October of 2012 - 1 year and 8 months.  He has legally been our adopted son since May of 2013 - 1 year and 1 month.

We've had crazy roller coasters of hope and disappointment.  We never once thought we'd really be waiting this long to bring our son home.

But after all this time of telling our story to others and giving countless updates to our caring family and friends, I realize that I can become numb to the fact that I am desperately waiting for our family to be whole.

I'm so used to saying "We have no timeline," "We're still waiting," "There's nothing we can do except wait."

I can say, "It's been so hard and we just pray he comes home SOMEday" without flinching.

But today, as I read our friend's blog post (you can read it here, they are in Congo at Tobi's orphanage right now), I just sat and cried.

I never know when these moments will spring upon me, but when they do, there's no denying it - I JUST. WANT. HIM. HOME.

I was scoring their blog post for a glimpse of Tobi (they are bringing back plenty).  I just wanted to see his face, his large round eyes, and his infectious smile.

There were none.  There was so much to rejoice over in their post, but a selfish mama, was looking for a specific chocolate colored face.

He wasn't there....but more importantly, he's not HERE.

Part of our family is missing, and it just hurts.  Sometimes the everyday "I'm doing ok" facade crashes down when we least expect it.

And I AM usually doing ok.  We have been greatly blessed by the ones The Lord has given us here and we rejoice in His grace everyday!

And I'm sure by this afternoon I'll be able to give our adoption speal without a blink again, but right now I'm painfully aware of the empty bed in his brother's room, the closet full of clothes, the beautifully wrapped Christmas present from his Nonnie and Papa, and the gaping hole in our hearts.  

A piece of our hearts and a part of our family is across the world.  And we just long for it to be whole.

Praying for Congo

So, a lot has happened in the last month regarding us adoptive parents reaching out to our local officials concerning adoptions in DRC.

In this post, I detailed what we had done in just over a week's time.

• We have gotten a lot of attention all the way up to the Department of State.

• A congressional letter was sent out directly to the president and prime minister of DRC that had 171 signatures on it from senators and congressmen.

• The Department of State responded to our plea for an action plan while the DRC delegation was to be in the country, and they set up meetings for the Congolese officials to meet adopted children that were already home with their families.

That delegation trip was canceled last minute, and the Congolese never came.

• Now, our Secretary of State, John Kerry is making a trip to Congo!

The Congolese respect John Kerry and we are praying that the trip will be beneficial for all involved.

But we are receiving blow after blow.

One second we are encouraged, the next we're scared.

One minute we're excited, and the next we are discouraged yet again.

Well, there is a new update on the Dept. of State adoption site and you can read it here.

People are fleeing with their children.
Illegaly.

We all might have opinions as to why DRC hasn't lifted this ban on exit letters, but we have to understand that their claims are real.

People are breaking the law, smuggling children out of the country, and not respecting the laws of their children's home land.

Do I want our son home?  YES!

But we have to do this the right way in order to pave the way for the children behind us to come home swiftly and safely as well.

But here is another concern:

DRC is now concerned with the size of our families before adoption.

Their law DOES state that children shouldn't be adopted to families with more than 2 children already at home. 

HOWEVER, their court system is given discretion in this regard.  Judges have the authority to decide whether families can provide for their adopted children with more at home.

This WAS the case anyway, and we are now concerned that it will change.

No family can "hide" the fact that they have more than 2 children at home.  You have to have a current home study in order to get your judgement, and the home study lists the members of the family in detail.

The fact is, this issue has not been a problem before, we were assured that it shouldn't be a problem by more than one adoption facilitator...and now DRC is implying that it might be a problem now.

Please pray for this situation.

Reading things like this makes my mind drift to possibilities that are too difficult to imagine...it makes me think that we just might not ever bring Tobias home.

However, my husband responds to me with this text message:

"We will wait and see.  We have done our best.  He knows and will rescue as He sees fit.  And we will not quit.  I love you, you are a mommy who loves her children from afar."

I'm so thankful for such words of wisdom.

So it's true....we don't know if or when we WILL ever bring Tobi home.

But we won't quit trying to!

So continue to pray for us, for Tobias, for the other hundreds of children that are stuck and waiting for their parents to bring them home...not to mention the MILLIONS that don't even have parents yet.

And something to think about is the longer children wait in orphanages, the longer other children wait on the streets.  If our kids aren't leaving those orphanages to come home to us, then there is no room for the others that have no place to lay their head at night.

Also pray for John Kerry's trip to DRC.  We're praying that there will be mutual respect between their President and our Secretary of State and that a beneficial outcome with soon be communicated to us!

We in no way want to shed a negative light on Congo.  It is where our son was given life.  They clearly can back up their claims of wrongdoing on adoptive parents' part.  

However, I am praying that they will see the dire state the children are in because of the exit letter suspension.

With so much uncertainty, I will rest in this:

"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

John 16:33

Why not Buy American?

Buy American!

You've heard that term right??

"Let's support our local economy!"

"Why purchase from overseas when you can purchase from the "mom and pop" down the street?"

These are valid statements and questions....when you're talking about purchases.

These, however are NOT valid when talking about a child.  A person.  A human.  A soul.

When our story was aired last Thursday on Fox40 (you can see it here), we saw some feedback that was mostly negative, and mostly ignorant.

The story was also posted on Aol, Yahoo, One News Page, and a few others, as well as Fox 40's Facebook page.  (Read about the rest of our crazy week of outreach to our elected officials here)

On some of these sites, we read some very disheartening comments regarding our adoption.

Here are some that we saw:

• "Sad they had to go so far to find a child to adopt"

• "Umm ok? what about the millions of kids here that need homes??"

• "So sad. What about American babies right in your backyard without food,homes, and families?"

• "The reason adoptions have stopped in the Congo is because of the increase in baby trafficking. Babies are being stolen from mothers, and mothers are being coerced into relinquishing these "valuable" babies. These adoptions need to stop-there should not be a financial profit in adoption. No one is entitled to a baby."

• "yes it does matter where the child is from we need to take care of our own FIRST before trying to rescue the whole world"

• "Awwwww get over it adopt american children... amercia has thousands of children looking for forever homes. I wish the american govt. Would halt all all forigen adoptions until all american children have forever homes first."

• "Isn't there enough American babies who need adoption? God Bless all the children but, give me a bleeding heart break."

But my all time favorite is:

• "Buy American"

Now, we definitely saw more compassionate remarks as well, but not nearly as many.

I was not prepared for comments like this.
I wasn't prepared for the ignorance that people have when commenting on something so sensitive and so personal to us.

However, we understand that we allowed our story to be told on a public level and that it is open for anyone to have an opinion about it.


After reading their comments, I immediately felt so defensive!!!
I wanted to fully EDUCATE them as to why they are dead wrong!

But my husband reminded me that I can't respond to that stuff.

We are to be the example here.  We aren't here to argue.
What it comes down to with these people is this:

• They do not view these children as people.

• They do not see an adopted child as having the same rights a biological child has.

• They do not see Congolese children as having the same human rights as American children.

• They obviously view American children as being far superior to the Congolese.

• They clearly have NO IDEA what the conditions are like for orphans in Congo.

However, I'd like to take a moment to give some information in case there are any of you that still don't understand why we aren't adopting domestically.

I honestly understand inquiring minds.
I understand if you have questions.
I'll do my best to answer them!

Just don't attack my family!

K?  

:)

#1:  We did not set out to adopt from Congo
We see NOTHING wrong with that, however.

When we started our adoption journey (wrote a post about it here), we were overwhelmed with the options.

We knew that adoption was GOOD regardless of where the child was from.  This left us with a hard decision...if we felt every single child needed parents, then how to we choose where to adopt from?

Well, thankfully God made that decision for us.  We realized that a friend of ours co-founded Compassion for Congo and we already knew someone else who adopted from their orphanage in Congo!

It was an open door, and we walked through, never looking back.

#2: Children are desperate in Congo.
In Congo, only about half of ALL children live until the age of 5.  Those are not good odds.

It is the poorest country in the world.

Parents cannot afford to feed themselves, much less their children.

Sometimes family members will take turns skipping meals, even for days, so that others can eat.

There is literally an endless supply of abandoned children and parents that are willing to abandon their children.

You can see them on the streets every day all over the country.

And parents who love their children will many times offer them up to be adopted, knowing they will die if they stay.

#3: Witchcraft is rampant
In Congo, many children are injured (burned, cut, whipped) because their parents believe they are evil.  Many children are believed to be, even at very young ages, to be sorcerers, witches, or demon possessed. 

You can read an example here.  Please be advised, it is graphic, and disturbing...but this little girl's reality.

They use different deplorable actions to get rid of the "evil" that lives inside these poor kids. This results in children being abandoned, left for dead, or killed.

This is fairly common.  

Satan is able to live in the country without disguise.

#4: There is no "system" to help them.
Didier himself (pastor who runs the orphanage) told us when he visited last year that adoption is not common among the Congolese people.

If a child is adopted, they most likely become more of a servant than a member of the family.

When there are children walking the streets, starving and ill-stricken, they aren't generally looked upon with compassion like they would be here in the U.S.

Their general view of children and orphans is just different.

Although the government does extend a love for their people and a desire to see them thrive, it seems the resources are not present.

#5: An orphan needs parents.
An orphan=ANY child without a guardian...regardless of where they are born.

How on EARTH can we value one person's life over another based on their birthplace????

So, my sister in law was born in Mexico.  That means she is not as entitled to having loving parents like we Americans are???

How can we be so bold and arrogant as to say that?

It literally DUMBFOUNDS me.  

A child is a child, is a child, is a child.  
Period.

We are NOT talking politics!  This is not about getting a valid driver's license, or health insurance, or state funding.

I would NEVER tell someone that adopting from Congo is "better" or "more important" than adopting from ANYWHERE else!

Every single child needs saving.  

Some countries definitely have more deplorable conditions for their orphans, but we can't put more value on any one person's life than another's.

Am I making sense?

And Lastly,

#6: An orphan became our son in a split second.
The moment we saw Tobi's picture for the first time, he was our son.

There was no paperwork completed yet, nothing was official, but he was ours.

As adoptive parents, we don't view our adopted children any differently than our biological children.

So when someone says, "adopt another one", that is not even an option.

We can't replace a child, and any parent who has lost a child of their own can attest to that.

Can we have more?  Perhaps.  But there is no replacement.

Can I go out and buy another car when ours is totaled?  Yes.  

It's a purchase.

We don't purchase our children.

We labor for them, work for them, and they come at a cost just like our biological children.

They are not returnable, exchangeable, or replaceable.

Because they are people.

Not items, not statistics, not facts, not stories. 

They are our children.

Please do not view them as anything else.

******Any comments that are not genuine or seem to be from "trolls" will be immediately deleted.  I am choosing not to harbor debate and arguments here.  This is a family blog and is not intended to be controversial