Is My Husband my Soul Mate?

A couple months ago, someone shared this article on Facebook.

The title immediately intrigued me.

I read it, and read it again.

Both times I was left with a little bit of a sour taste in my mouth.

The author basically says that God did not ordain for her to marry her husband.  They CHOSE to marry each other and that is why they are together.  It wasn't planned beforehand by The Father, but BECAUSE they said "yes" to each other, it is now God's will for them to remain together.

Not really able to put into words WHY I had this sour taste after reading it, I shared the article with my best friend to see what she thought.

We went back and forth discussing our thoughts on it, and ended the conversation with neither of us feeling very confidant either way!

In the meantime, I talked with Chris about it.

I confessed that I was definitely one of those teen girls that thought God's ultimate purpose for my life was to find my husband that He had created for me.  I focused FAR too much on what God's will for my life might be in regards to things such as my future husband, college, career, children and family.  I wanted His will, but it had nothing to do with what His will was for my SOUL and heart.

Being under the teaching and study of The Word, I've come to the realization that yes, God has specific plans for our lives, but His ultimate purpose is for our hearts.

He desires our:

*SALVATION
*SANCTIFICATION
*RELIANCE UPON ONLY HIM
*GLORIFICATION OF HIMSELF

Now, there may be thousands of different circumstances surrounding each of these.

How many situations cause us to increase in our sanctification?  In fact, my best friend (who I referred to earlier) after the first few months of marriage, described marriage as "sanctifying."

There are countless issues that we face that cause us to turn back to Christ, rely on Him, proclaim His name to others, lift up our brothers and sisters in Christ, and be an example of a Christ follower to our family, resulting in us bringing Glory to The Father.

So my point in saying this is that

God has an ultimate purpose for our lives, and I don't believe it's the smaller things of life, but the four items I listed above.

HOWEVER 
He also puts these other circumstances in our path in order to bring about our SALVATION, SANCTIFICATION, RELIANCE UPON HIM, and our GLORIFICATION OF HIM!

Are we so proud to think that we brought about our own salvation?  Are we solely responsible for our sanctification?  And do we alone posses the strength to rely on Him in everyday life in order to bring Him glory?

We are in desperate need of divine assistance daily!  We receive it FROM HIM.

"My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares The Lord.  For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

See, I believe that Scripture continually reminds us of our "smallness" and HIS greatness!

SO.

I understand more about His will now and what His purpose is in our daily lives.  

We have to look at the "bigger picture" in order to understand it...not the tiny areas of life that I solely focused on as a teenager.  It's not that they aren't important, it's that they aren't of FIRST importance.

Now, let me ask this big question.

Is my husband my soul mate?

First of all, I don't like the term "soul mate."  I feel like it puts a tarot card emphasis on our love life....could just be me and the term, but I don't like to use it!

So I'll ask this instead.

Did God PLAN or WILL me to marry my husband?

I believe the answer is yes.

Just look at it from a logical standpoint for a second.

Do you believe that God PLACES people or situations in your path for His purposes?  Even if you don't see His sovereignty in the moment until you view it in hindsight, I think that if we are all looking at our life in view of His grace, we see His hand in every small and large aspect of it.

Even our sin!

"And we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

Does He not work ALL things together????  Yes.

Does He want us to sin?  No.

Does He choose to allow us to?  Yes.

Does He choose to teach us through our own sin?  Yes.

Does He even choose to BLESS us in spite of our own sin????                   Wow, Yes!

So if we believe that He ordains and allows all things in our lives, why would we NOT believe that He ordained the most important earthly relationship that He CREATED???

He created Eve FOR Adam.  He didn't make her and see if they'd be compatible with each other.  He didn't make her and hope that they'd hit it off with each other.  She was made to BE his helper and mate.

Sure, there wasn't much to choose from, but that's beside the point!

Why do we want to be the sovereign one?

Why do we want to say that it was OUR choice?

Why is it hard for us to look back, see His hand and thank Him for being wiser than we are?

Do we make choices?  Yes.

Do we have "free will" in our everyday decisions?  Yes.

But as R.C. Sproul says, 

"We have free will, but God's will is 'freer'!"

Do we REALLY think that our free will is so powerful that it can overcome what God has ordained?  What HIS will is?

"Our God is in the heavens, He does all that He pleases." Psalm 115:3

I think it's all in the perspective.

We could say that we chose to be in a dating relationship with someone, that we chose to stay in the relationship, that we chose to say "yes" when he proposed, that we chose to go through with it on our wedding day, and that we choose to stay married. 

But what happens when we start thinking in "what-if's"?

What if I didn't go out with him?  What if I said no?  What if I got cold feet and fled?  Could I have met someone else and had a God-glorifying relationship with that person that led to marriage?

Let me tell you something that helped me see this clearly.  My husband reminded me of this very simple statement.

THERE ARE NO WHAT-IF'S WITH GOD!!!

We can't think about what-if's!  Why?  Because there AREN'T any!

He is in control and it's not because of coincidence! 

So do I believe that God planned for Chris and I to marry each other?  Yes.

Did I know that when I met him?  Nope.

Remember?  Hindsight!  

He allows us to see His hand in hindsight.  When we look back and see how He orchestrates EVERYTHING!

I DREADED moving up here to the foothills.  I MOURNED moving away from my best friend. 

What IF we hadn't moved here?

Well, I would have never met my husband, had my kids, or would have been adopting Tobias.  

My brother would have never met his wife or be expecting their baby girl.

Does God think that way though?  Does He sit back and say,

"Man, I'm sure glad the Jacksons moved up there so that things could work out so nicely"?

That makes God seem pretty darn small, and us little humans seem mighty large in the grand scheme of things.

God moved us.  He orchestrated certain things to bring us here, bring me to my husband, my brother to his wife, and all of us to this specific time in our lives. 

Did I know it then?  No.  But He allows me to look back and see His hand guiding us.

And the times I fail?  The times I CHOOSE to go my own way?

I see Him use it to teach me, bring me back to Himself, and still work out His ultimate purpose for me to be sanctified and Him to be glorified.

Remember Joseph?  Remember what his brothers did to him?  What did he say to them?

"As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today." Genesis 50:20

Let's not give ourselves too much credit here.  We are only instruments of The Lord's hand, trying to make wise decisions that glorify Him....all the while accomplishing HIS will.

Do I believe my husband is my soul mate?
Well...if you're asking if I believe God sovereignly ordained for us to meet when we did, marry each other and start a family in the way that we did...

Then yes.  Yes I do.