But I titled the blog "It's a mom life" for a reason!
I'd eventually like to just be able to update family and friends on how our family is growing and changing.
But I would also like to share more about what my life is as a mom and share things that
are close to my heart.
So here it goes.
Our oldest daughter is a princess fanatic!
her several tiaras, princess shoes, and necklaces.
I do not see anything wrong with allowing our girls to dress up and play pretend.
However, we're seeing a trend that we do not like, and we believe it stems from watching all the Disney princess movies like Cinderella, Beauty and The Beast, Aladdin, Little Mermaid, Tangled, etc.
And we've just made a decision to take those types of movies out of our video library for a long time.
And I'll share with you the reasons why.
She is looking up to an adult princess.
"Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior..."
Titus 2:3a
Our girls are little ladies.
How do these movies line up with the example
of Godly women?
But she's 4.
We're noticing that it is difficult for her to understand what is acceptable for adult (or teenage, really) princesses vs. her little preschooler self. For example, usually the days following watching a princess movie, she talks about the difference between an adult kiss and a little kid kiss. She is fascinated by it for some reason and tries to push the envelope with the type of kisses she gives to us or her siblings.
And another example.
When dressing up, she is always looking to us to tell her how beautiful she is. How "princess-like" she is. How precious she looks.
I'm sure that this stuff is normal for little ones to experiment with. But look at what she's watching!!! She's 4 years old and sees movies with teenagers "falling in love" and wanting to marry their prince within the week! They normally dress pretty immodestly, are always beautiful with long flowy hair, and will always kiss their prince. How is she supposed to process these adult concepts in her head? I believe it's so hard because she isn't SUPPOSED to have to process things like this yet! Her example of love should come from family around her.
Our kids see my husband and I hug, exchange kisses and goof around all the time.
But to their understanding, we have always been together.
We are secure.
We are a solid fixture in their lives.
We can explain our love story to them, but all they see is that from the moment they were born, mom and dad have always loved each other and that's how things ARE.
We need to nurture her inner beauty.
"But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious."
1 Peter 3:4
I don't believe this "gentle and quiet spirit"
can be found in the princesses
that girls look up to.
She needs to know what is most important to our Lord. And that is her heart.
Think about it.
What's the first thing that comes to our mind to say to a little girl when we meet them?
"How pretty you are!"
"What a beautiful dress!"
"I love your gorgeous eyes!"
"Wow, such a little cutie pie!"
Anything wrong with these? Not inherently.
But what are these tiny little hearts learning???
That they need to be pretty for others?
That they need to smile pretty for others?
That they are better because they are pretty today?
That we should strive to earn complements about our OUTER appearance?
We need to address their hearts.
And the "heart" of the matter is that God cares for what is inside.
Our "inner" beauty.
NOT the counsel of the world that says how important and self-loving we should be to ourselves.
But our inner self that loves the Lord.
That puts others first.
That desires to honor and respect our parents and forgive others.
The thing that our Father finds as PRECIOUS!
We would like to pull our girls away from the all-important Princess persona of beauty.
We need to teach them what true beauty is in the eye of our Creator.
We want to be an example of humble repentance and grace.
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
1 John 1:9
Good vs. evil is not the same as sin vs. righteousness.
Repentance is obviously not seen in these films because
they are void of Christ.
The best way for our children to understand their own depravity and forgiveness through Christ
is showing it to them practically.
We talk to the girls all the time about repentance and forgiveness of sin, but they NEED to see
that we are in this with them!
We are sinners saved by grace and they need a Savior just as much as we do!
They must see us apologize when necessary and be the example of humility and turning from our sin to Christ.
But look at these movies!!
Young women and men break the law, disobey their parents, disrespect their parents verbally and with their actions. Couples make it clear that regardless of what their parents approve of or think, their "love" is most important of all and gives them permission to do whatever necessary to be together.
That is directly in contradiction to what we are trying to teach them!
And there is usually no remorse!
We are working in a direction more like this:
We can tell our girls how "not nice" they are sometimes.
Or how "mean" they are when they take something away from the other.
But a better approach would be this:
Did God create you?
Did God create your sister?
Did He make those hands of yours?
Did He form your heart?
Then how would He like you to use your hands toward the sister He made for you?
And how do you think He feels when your heart is unkind toward someone that He made and loves?
Do you think we should pray for Him to forgive you?
Would you like to try and do better and treat your sister in a way that pleases The Lord now?
Sometimes it's hard, mommy and daddy sin too. But we always are very sorry for our sin and thank Jesus for forgiving us and allowing us to do better next time!
If they watch a show, make it a purposeful one.
“All things are lawful,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful,” but not all things build up.
1 Corinthians 10:23
Is it sinful to turn on Cinderella?
No.
But I do not see it as helpful to our little girls'
hearts and minds as they try and process what this world is all
about and who God created them to be.
It's about both trying to take the ungodly, unnecessary adult-like fairy tales away and replace them with much more appropriate videos for their little eyes to watch.
I mean, it's not like there aren't 1,001 BETTER things for them to watch!
I was the one who brought out these nostalgic movies to introduce them to anyways.
I remember watching them, wanting to be Ariel transformed into a human, Belle being captivated by magical creatures and falling in love with a beast, Jasmine in her skimpy outfit and pet tiger....
So I am to blame for subjecting her to these concepts.
How much more productive would it be for her to watch Biblical shows? Educational shows?
Things we can talk about later that don't include explaining why Rapunzel was allowed to kiss Eugene with an "adult kiss"? And that don't include explaining why Ariel's top is technically a swimsuit top instead of a "bra"? And why we don't pull our shirt down to show our bare shoulders like Jasmine?
Our little girls are future women.
We were once this young.
We must do our best to form their hearts to see themselves as God has created them.
Precious in His sight...yet with sin.
Which is why the Gospel is SO important in our parenting!!!!
He looks at our hearts...which is sinful! Even theirs. And look at the wide open door we have to tell
them of the beautiful gift of Jesus.
There's no wondering when we'll have an "opportunity" to share the Gospel with our kids.
It's every minute of every day!
So maybe later down the road when our kids understand more about being young ladies, we'll sit and watch Little Mermaid again and sing all the songs together. Lord knows I look forward to that!
I don't know when that will be. But I know that when our little girls lay in bed at night falling asleep, I don't want them day dreaming about a Prince Charming. Their hearts are much too young for that.
Instead, they can lay in bed and dream of the date that they get to take with their daddy.
Of a fun day ahead shopping with mom.
Of all the funny things that their baby brother did that day.
Because the time WILL come that a young man will lay heavy on one of their hearts and mind. And when that day comes, I want her to see herself as the lady that we do. As a daughter of our Heavenly Father that should be guarded and protected from the world's distorted view of love. And also saved for the prince that will one day take her away from us.
This is an interesting take on princesses. My parents banned Barbies for pretty much the same reason. They always dressed immodestly and were super unrealistic in certain ways, if you know what I mean. I think I benefited from it and, even though I was jealous of all my other friends who had Barbies, I appreciate my parents looking out for me even at a young age.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you in so many ways! I think Disney gives girls unrealistic expectations of love, relationships, and men. Also what you said about being praised for our outer image is so important. You are such a good mom Angie!
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